Holy Sh*tsnacks, Batman! // Early February// Open

[sploosh]

Who: Pam , the Wayne family, and you?
When: Early morning in the Wayne household / throughout the day in town
Where: The Wayne Household / Shops in town
What: Waking up in Santa Rosita and getting the lay of the land
Warnings: Warnings for Pam-typical levels of obscenity


Home Sweet Hostage Situation

The sun is streaming through the window. The birds are singing. There's the soft rumble of car engines warming up as the men of the town head out to work. It's a beautiful day in Santa Rosita..and it sounds NOTHING like the big city, so Pam can't sleep. She tosses and turns for a while, fighting the obvious discord all around her, but it's just too much.

The blond sits up in her twin bed asking "why's it so bright?" to no one in particular. That brightness gives way to the obvious problems with the location, though. This room alone is bigger than Pam's whole apartment and none of these things belong to her. Did she get hammered and pass out in a stranger's bed? No. None of her one-night-stands live anywhere this clean. Not unless it's a serial killer. She sees the photo of herself and Bruce on the nightstand between the beds. Yep...definitely a serial killer if they put in this kind of effort, but a damn handsome one. Pam grabs the lamp off the little table and carries it with her as she makes her way through the house in her nightgown, taking in all the photos and looking for her kidnapper so she can smash his very pretty brains in.
"Hello? Ridiculously good looking stalker? Anybody?"


---------------------------------------------

Making it feel like home...

Pam doesn't think of the money she has as "stolen". Bruce is her husband, after all. It's their money. Besides, she's using it for their house! She's going to make it so much better!

She's going up and down the floors and ailes of Honeybees looking for just the right items. If she's stuck in this weird out-of-date after school special, she can at least have a home she can be proud of. For now, she's trying to add some color...and some liquor. She has some tiki torches sticking awkwardly out of her buggy nearly a full rainbow of fiesta-ware.

Finally, in frustration, she just stops the next person she sees.

"Excuse me, but have you seen any liquor bars for sale? Especially something that works as with a tiki theme. I woulda thought the house would have a built in wet-bar, but no such luck...Indoor or outdoor, I'm easy."


________________________________________

Every cloud has a sugar lining

Shopping is hungry work. Work that calls for two burgers and a large chocolate shake. This place is a weird and terrible fever dream, but at least it has an old timey diner in the middle. If this milkshake isn't the best thing she's ever had, Pam is calling shenanigans on this whole thing.

She sits at her diner table all alone, but she's certainly open to company. Please just ignore the mess she's making with that burger. There is a distinct possibility that she was born in a barn.

Comments

[the_caped_crusader]

I'm Bruce. There's creamer in the fridge.

[ his eye drifts down to the makeshift weapon clutched in her hand. ]

Mind setting the lamp down now?

[sploosh]

She...lowers the lamp. Putting it down still feels a little too open to attack, but Bruce doesn't look ready to jump at her just this moment.

"I'm Pam. Where are we? Why are we in pictures together?"

Pam picks up the coffee mug and carries it to the fridge. She looks at her full hands and sighs, setting the lamp down on the kitchen counter.

"I haven't ruled you out as a kidnapper just yet...so don't try anything."

[the_caped_crusader]

[ he raises his hands with casual innocence. ]

That's a complicated. We were transported to the year 1961, to a town in Northern California called Santa Rosita.

[ he takes a moment to let that sink and takes a sip of his black cup of coffee before continuing. ]

The pictures are because we're supposed to be married here. Clever fakes, I'll admit, although I'm still not sure how they doctored them. The child in some of the pictures is sleeping in the other bedroom upstairs. Her name's Kipo, she was brought here like us.

[sploosh]

It sounds crazy, but it's not the kind of crazy that kidnaps you and ties you up in the basement. Pam is no more at ease, but she's getting less suspicious of Bruce. Enough that she can add half & half and sugar to her coffee and start drinking it without being armed.

"Jeez...whoever did this takes kids too? That's messed up."
She smiles and laughs under her breath with a slight shrug.
"At least I scored a hot husband... So what's the family name, Bruce?"

[the_caped_crusader]

So you've said.

[ he eyes her peripherally. that's the third time she's called him some variation of hot or handsome. he super hot. he knows. ]

Wayne. It might take a little getting used to.

[sploosh]

"Sorry. I'll keep it in my pants."

It's hard for Pam not to note the smoldering hotty she's ended up fake-married to. Her life does not often hand her this kind of win. Honestly, this kind of luck has her fully prepared for just how awful it should be from here on. A Poovey rarely gets lucky. It sure doesn't happen twice. Bad things are coming, no doubt.

She sputters a poorly contained laugh and tries to wave it off.

"Sorry. I'm sorry. Just... Bruce Wayne? Your parents went with that? Oh my God. Still...Pam Wayne isn't the worst sounding thing."
She mutters "Bat-Pam" under her breath and giggles.

Pam finally takes a seat in her modest nightgown and spoons some sugar into her coffee.

"And...you said we've got a daughter, too? Kipo? That's kind of a strange name. Guess we can't just rename her like a pet, though..."

[the_caped_crusader]

Before you get excited, you should probably know I'm spoken for back home.

[ she was here, but... it's been about a month since he's last seen her. last he checked the ardankin residence, vasiliy had a new wife that he himself had fleeting memories of. ]

And a word of caution-- try not to draw too much attention in public. A lot of them may seem calm, but I think it's more insidious than that.

[sploosh]

"...well that's a buzzkill, but not surprising. I am...not."

She starts to raise finger-guns to make suggestions about 'what happens in bizzarro world stays in bizzarro world, but then Bruce adds more bad news to the pile. She'll just save her flirtations for a better time. Probably.

"Wait...when you say "they" you mean...like...everyone outside of here? How big is this thing? I figured it was just us locked in a house."

[the_caped_crusader]

There are forty-four others like us who've been placed in these makeshift nuclear families. The others you'll recognize pretty quickly.

[ bruce takes a quick sip of his coffee and moves towards the window in the kitchen. lifting the shades for a moment, his next door neighbor, always mowing his back yard, smiles and waves with rehearsed emotion as though he'd been waiting there all day to see bruce. unceremoniously, he closes the blinds again. ]

There are other things, too. We were all attacked by ice creatures, before that was dead children. It tends to happen later in the month, though I can say for sure if there's a trend there yet.

[sploosh]

"Forty-four? And they've got a whole town set up for this crazy shit?"

Pam wracks her brain for any reason someone might do this. She tries to figure out what she might have to offer whatever plan they're moving towards or why they're gathering children along with adults. Her first guess is she's a breeding mare for some kind of cult, but the kids being brought in doesn't make any sense, so that idea is out the window. Then she's shaken from her brainstorming by Bruce's continued warnings.

"....Dead children? What the fuck?! So...they kidnap us, pretend that everything's fine and normal, AND attack us? Why? Why us? I mean, I'm not important or valuable."

[the_caped_crusader]

It's not them attacking us. At least, I don't think it is.

[ bruce rubs his chin thoughtfully. ]

But it's all tied to this town somehow. As for why you, I can't say that either. Some of us aren't even from the same worlds, so it may be entirely circumstantial.

[sploosh]

"So...this has been goin on a while. This town is stuck in a black and white sitcom...and there are periodic attacks."

Pam sighs and sips her coffee. Her head is starting to hurt. There's no pattern to who is brought in and no clue to how they're being brought in. They may not all even be from the same world. Which...opens a whole other can of worms.

"...Any signs of what's really going on here, or is everyone as confused as I am right now?"

[the_caped_crusader]

The latter, mostly.

[ he sips the coffee himself, a rather casual conversation between 'husband' and 'wife' around their coffee table, the sunlight gently filtering in from the window above the sink. ]

A lot of us have gotten close to something, but there's a preternatural force that tries to stop us when we get too close. If this is Clarke, Craven, Harding, or something else, though, I haven't found any evidence that points one way or the other.

[sploosh]

[she's at least been through enough to be calm through this debriefing. It's more than she's used to, but she's experienced with weird.]

Huh... And those names? Those are the big wigs around here, I take it? I mean...maybe they're giving you false leads, to begin with? Just to keep you busy.

[the_caped_crusader]

Phillip Clarke is the mayor, Rosemary Craven leads the Happy Homes Association, and Dale Harding is the chief of police.

[ all of them were suspicious. once, he would have said harding was the most trustworthy, but after hearing the voices from the door in his office, he wasn't sure. without context, identity, he couldn't say what part he played. ]

And they haven't given us anything. My suggestion would be not to deliberately poke the bear, Pam. Something tells me they're more capable than they let on. Anything we've been able to discover ourselves we've done alone.

[sploosh]

[Pam commits the names and titles to memory. These are important.]

Shitsnacks... Honestly, bear poking is one of my better skills. Look...I know I don't look it, but I'm a fighter. If I can do somethin' to help figure this place out or get us back home, I will. But I'll be careful. At least til we know what's goin on.

[the_caped_crusader]

I've been looking into Harding, but you might want to take a look into Rosemary Craven. See if you can get close. Something tells me you'll have better luck as a woman than I will.

[sploosh]

Oh, probably. I mean, if the attitudes match the décor, anyway. I'm good at just gossiping with new people, so I should at least be able to get a conversation goin.

[the_caped_crusader]

Something tells me she's dangerous. Maybe more dangerous than the others. I wouldn't let my guard down around her if I were you.

[sploosh]

I gotcha. I'll be careful with her.