WE'RE STILL HERE NPCS (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
helloneighbor) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
logsville2021-01-16 04:55 pm
helloneighbor) wrote in logsville2021-01-16 04:55 pm
(open) you're gonna need a heap of glue when they all catch up with you
Who: Chief of Police Dale Harding and YOU
When: January 16th — February 1st
Where: Throughout town
What: Santa Rosita's very dignified chief of police makes some very dignified appearances around town, meeting and greeting some very undignified people.
Warnings: Language, alcohol abuse, one man's poor life choices.
[Interesting fact: Approximately 25-30% of drinkers are resistant to hangover symptoms.
Dale Harding is not in that percentage.
Santa Rosita's chief of police is certainly an elusive figure. Many of you likely haven't seen him since the Christmas gala. In fact, as you go about your business today, running errands throughout Shadyside and Santa Rosita, you might even miss him altogether. But once you notice the 5'7 man with his unbuttoned sleeve cuffs and distinct lack of service jacket or hat that would mark him as an officer, save for the shiny silver badge pinned to his belt along with the holstered handgun, it's difficult to ignore him. He doesn't look like the other police officers you've seen around town with their plastic smiles and neatly pressed suits. For starters, he doesn't smile at all — and that's not likely to change no matter what he's doing and where you see him.
Harding doesn't keep morning hours, so you're more likely to spot him in the afternoon and at night. Most of the time, you'll see him slowly driving through Shadyside in his police cruiser. Occasionally, he'll be parked in front of Santa Rosita Elementary, always at lunchtime, watching the kids play at recess with his flask to his lips. Other times, you'll see him parked in Rose Garden Park, lying back in the front seat with his sunglasses on. You don't realize it yet, but this will all make sense when you get closer and notice, perhaps not inconspicuously, the string of drool trailing from his lips.
And yet, rarest of all, you'll see him on foot in North Santa Rosita. In the morning and at night, he'll go to the Blue Moon Diner, the bell over the door jingling as he walks in and takes a seat at the counter. Ordering a cheeseburger and coffee, he'll sit silently waiting for his food with his elbows on the table, his fingers laced, pressing his forehead into his hands.
Surely this is the best time to say hello!
ooc: The mods will respond to tags for Harding until February 1st. Please try to keep your interactions with him brief! He is a busy man, after all.]
When: January 16th — February 1st
Where: Throughout town
What: Santa Rosita's very dignified chief of police makes some very dignified appearances around town, meeting and greeting some very undignified people.
Warnings: Language, alcohol abuse, one man's poor life choices.
[Interesting fact: Approximately 25-30% of drinkers are resistant to hangover symptoms.
Dale Harding is not in that percentage.
Santa Rosita's chief of police is certainly an elusive figure. Many of you likely haven't seen him since the Christmas gala. In fact, as you go about your business today, running errands throughout Shadyside and Santa Rosita, you might even miss him altogether. But once you notice the 5'7 man with his unbuttoned sleeve cuffs and distinct lack of service jacket or hat that would mark him as an officer, save for the shiny silver badge pinned to his belt along with the holstered handgun, it's difficult to ignore him. He doesn't look like the other police officers you've seen around town with their plastic smiles and neatly pressed suits. For starters, he doesn't smile at all — and that's not likely to change no matter what he's doing and where you see him.
Harding doesn't keep morning hours, so you're more likely to spot him in the afternoon and at night. Most of the time, you'll see him slowly driving through Shadyside in his police cruiser. Occasionally, he'll be parked in front of Santa Rosita Elementary, always at lunchtime, watching the kids play at recess with his flask to his lips. Other times, you'll see him parked in Rose Garden Park, lying back in the front seat with his sunglasses on. You don't realize it yet, but this will all make sense when you get closer and notice, perhaps not inconspicuously, the string of drool trailing from his lips.
And yet, rarest of all, you'll see him on foot in North Santa Rosita. In the morning and at night, he'll go to the Blue Moon Diner, the bell over the door jingling as he walks in and takes a seat at the counter. Ordering a cheeseburger and coffee, he'll sit silently waiting for his food with his elbows on the table, his fingers laced, pressing his forehead into his hands.
Surely this is the best time to say hello!
ooc: The mods will respond to tags for Harding until February 1st. Please try to keep your interactions with him brief! He is a busy man, after all.]
😔
[he finishes mixing his irish coffee, pocketing the flask after noting harding's line of sight.]
Okay, now un-shut up and... [he waves a hand.] you know. Say something and I might share. Maybe.
[he won't. you'd think the "world's greatest secret agent" would be better at intelligence gathering, huh?]
no subject
'Something.' [His tone is flat. He puts the flask back in his pocket.] Try again.
no subject
[his spoon clinks against the mug. archer looks away from harding to some of the other people milling around the place. part of him expects them to freak out at the same time when something doesn't fit, pleasantville style.]
Are you doing sweeping performance reviews back at the department? Because your whole chickenshit outfit didn't seem to give one rat's ass between them about that elficidal epidemic a couple weeks back. Full offense, [he takes a long drink.] but every single one of your cops sucks at their job.
no subject
Is this a formal complaint or are you here to annoy me? [He says that like he already knows the answer.]
no subject
no subject
[He takes a swig of coffee, pauses for a second, then reaches back inside his pocket for his flask. At least Archer had one good idea.]
The Mayor doesn't need to hear your jackassy nonsense, so I'll make this nice and easy for all of us. [He starts pouring the contents of the flask into his coffee.] Go home, get your head on straight, and come back when you have a real problem.
no subject
[a beat while he shifts to actually get up, then:] Heh. I Loathe Lucy. Like that guy wasn't obnoxious enough... does he even pay you enough to give a shit? Doesn't sound like it. You don't dress like it.
no subject
That hurts coming from a guy who looks like he sells bibles for a living.
[Capping the flask, Harding takes a sip of coffee, grimacing only a little bit. Better, but not by much. Maybe he needs a new brand.]
You know what, hang on, hang on— [He sets the cup back down.] I think I might have something for you after all.
no subject
[archer stops after he is done delivering what he believes to he a zinger, standing with his cane, glaring down at harding. god, he's so tempted to taze the guy but... you know. right here? shitty idea, even for archer.]
I swear to God, if you burp then I'm gonna slap the bitch off your face.
no subject
I just need a minute to refresh my memory is all. Maybe I'll take you up on your offer.
no subject
The shitty phones here don't have apps, so imagine the Price Is Right losing horn right here. You're like... the personification of it, so that shouldn't be hard. [and yet, he seems almost electrically interested in what harding could have to say. the power he holds over these confused citizens!] What? What is it?
no subject
Harding, meanwhile, looks absolutely fed up. Well, that backfired. This is technically his fault just as much as Archer's. Still doesn't mean Archer is going to get away with it, though.]
Yeah, okay, that's enough'a that.
[He snaps his fingers. A force comes over Archer, washing over his brain in a cold, soothing wave. All the excitement, all the irritation, everything that's got him so wound up — it's all wiped away in the blink of an eye and replaced with obedience, calmness, and most importantly, happiness as the third stage of Tranquilization takes effect.
The waitress finally comes around with that rag, apologizing frantically like she's the one who broke the cup. Harding gets to his feet, reaching for his wallet to pay for his coffee.]
It's no problem. I have to run, but he'll be happy to help you clean up. [He adds to Archer, without even looking at him,] Right?
no subject
Oh! Of course, Mr Harding. It's my fault it fell off, after all! [he beams at the waitress, putting a hand on her shoulder.] Don't you worry, I'll have this done in a jiff.
[and that's that. no more trouble from him!
...a couple days later when he comes to making some ungodly aspic concoction for dinner, archer damn near blacks out from sheer disgust.]