Turning you in would imply I care about your education, Ferris Bueller. [that's the obvious one. he's still a little out of sorts, don't expect hilarity from him.] I'm half expecting the school's, like, you walk in through the doors then suddenly you're on the Lord of the Flies island, knowing this shithole.

[he would've preferred lord of the flies to his own years spent in education. they were... unpleasant, to say the least.

and then louis mentions chronic masturbation and archer sputters, a noise that's half a genuinely amused laugh and some kind of upset deflection.]

What? No! Shut the fuck-- oh, my god! What are you, the school counsellor? At your age?